“Anyone can become angry — that is so easy. But to become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power — that is not so easy.” —- Aristotle.
Control of anger is a prime requisite for anyone, especially so for people in managerial positions. For, anger is a very strong human emotion. An angry person tends to become irrational and takes decisions with adverse long-term implications.
Organisations need to impart training in self-awareness through available validated behavioral techniques. A short-tempered ‘boss’ can put off his subordinates; he/she neither gets full details of failures nor receives any worthwhile suggestions.
One who is not disturbed in mind even amidst the three-fold miseries or elated when there is happiness, and who is free from attachment, fear and anger, is said to be the one with steady mind. Therefore, anger is only our attachment for an object, expressed that has come between us and the object of our desire.
Evils of anger
Anger appears to be more powerful than desire. Livid with anger, in recent times, Jessica Lall (a bar tender) was murdered by an infuriated customer when she refused to serve him a drink after the scheduled hour. Boxer Mike Tyson bit off his opponent’s ear when he felt he was losing the bout.
Anger is a momentary madness; so control your passion or it will control you. — Horace
One who succumbs to anger does not know what one does in that mood. An angry man would perpetrate any sin. Further, an agitated person does not even know which are appropriate words and which are forbidden words. He never realises what to say and what not to say.
A man normally makes two types of mistakes — self-praise and abuse of others. To abuse others is even worse than killing them.
Most of us lack patience. Road rage is a common and frequent occurence. One driver gets impatient with the one ahead of him or her for not giving way, and starts honking the horn incessantly. The irritated driver of the vehicle in front deliberately avoids giving room to overtake.
Soon there is a dangerous game of speeding, swerving, and stopping, which often ends in accidents or damages. People do not realise that it is better to be patient on the road than to be patients in the hospital. Patience is a great quality. A person with patience is respected everywhere.
Impatience is the result of one not being happy with what is. We are unhappy because we are either fixated over the future or hooked to the past. If one is totally in the present, one can never be unhappy. Unhappiness comes when our mind compares what is to what should be.
Is anger necessary?
Anger is a natural response to threats. However, we use anger when we “think” we are being attacked, without really taking time to evaluate if we need to feel angry or if we are simply experiencing another emotion such as fear and surprise. If you are in a dangerous situation, anger could save your life. However, if you use anger to handle every situation, it could ruin you.
Dealing with anger
Three different techniques are used to deal with anger — Expressing, Suppressing and calming.
Anger is expressly visible when a provocation triggers visible retaliation. It is seen to be suppressed when a subject does not permit his feelings to be overtly seen. Thus, a person, though seething with indignation, prefers to suffer silently or takes to brooding. Attempting to calm a triggering or triggered temper by a strategy involving exercises, breathing and meditation is perhaps the best means of controlling temper.
A leader with a steady mind is bestowed with patience, listens to subordinates, higher-ups and critics without ego, seeks all the information, evaluates all the options carefully and in consultation with the stakeholders and comes to effective decisions.
Just as a serpent casts off its slough, whoever casts aside an intense anger suddenly arising in him, by virtue of his endurance, he verily is said to be an excellent man. He who has given up ego is loved by everyone. He who has given up anger ceases to regret. He who has given up desires accomplishes everything. He who has given up greed becomes happy.
Sree's blog on better management 